Music
Another thing I've done is to look for the lesson in the abuse - like after thinking over things that occurred during the relationship. There was a bunch of songs that I would listen to, the songs reminded me of lost dreams and different moments in the relationship, it became a sort of trigger where my mood and emotions would shift - seemingly right back the place I was - whether it was a feeling of sadness, or chasing the feeling of being in love. I did something with the music - something that I had considered many times but didn't go, refused to do although feeling that it was best to do - and that was - to not just stop listening to these songs - but to erase them out of my phone - this ensured that I wouldn't have easy access to them. Now I could feel whatever emotion that was necessary - instead of relying on these songs to fill in my blanks - missing spaces.
I have found music to be extremely healing, comforting, even powerful enough to change my mood- but it is also a tool that can be used negatively, I realize this now.
Note to self: Be willing to change your tune - don't "feed" your abuse.
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Talk to Me Sweet
from The Flowering Collection
Ink, Opaque gold paint
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